Got my place more so together now. Posters up, Jedis fighting on the fireplace mantle. Yep, feels like home. Got a dresser and futon from Ikea, man is that place overwhelming. Surrounded by fancy Swedish words for furniture, $0.50 hot dogs, and every little knick-knack that you wouldn't think you need; but it’s so CHEAP.
Feels nice to have a livable place again, I was able to write my entire location shoot script in about two hours, when it took me previously four weeks to finish it. Much better place to work. School now is pretty much going to involve Scene Study, Acting and Singing for the next few weeks, as those are the remaining classes with end-of-term presentations. We did the Movement piece on Wednesday, and thank goodness that class is over. One more term with that teacher, and I'd move a mint down his throat until it gets stuck. Or maybe not, I'm not really all that violent or confrontational.
This term has really flown by, and next term should be a lot of fun; location shoots, and headshots and demo reels, oh my. The course really should be longer than one year, but that's a big part of it's appeal. Oh well, I can always do some course somewhere else, hopefully after I've had some on-set work. And that's hoping I can stay in Vancouver. Not something that's entirely impossible, but I couldn't help but feel a great sting of failure if I had to move back to Nova Scotia at the end of the year. Not to say I don't want to come home, but if I'm going to be in a film acting school, I really should be in the largest film production city in the country. I mean, if I want to act, which I still do, which is not something everyone in my class can say.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Saturday, March 10, 2007
I'm Still Alive
Everything's fine here. My living accomodations have certainly improved. Feels good to live with someone I can talk to and not feel the need to avoid. The fact that we know the same people from school, and the fact that some of them are over most of the time is nice too. These are the people I love, and it's great to not feel separated from them. Not to mention the neighbourhood is nicer (in one of the most expensive parts of the city), and once I get a real bed and somewhere to store my clothes, I'll be in business. I don't think air mattresses are designed to be slept on for weeks at a time.
This is coming in the middle of a hectic school storm. I have a presentation in just about every class, need to write a short film script, and most of all a monologue. A monologue that shows the true heart of me. You see, I'm a private person. I don't like to think about myself that way, but I am. That's why it's hard for me to write these. I just don't think I can truly, in every sense of the word express my feelings here. Fear of judgment, I suppose, but just think to yourself, when was the last time your told someone how your truly feel about something (hint: it's probably the thing you least want to tell them.) I just can't bear myself like that. But, that's what acting is. Exposing your true heart for the world to see. Isn't that what you want to see in someone if you go to a performance?
I wrote a monologue already, but it wasn't good enough. I don't know, maybe if I just say what I want to right off the bat, I wouldn't have to reveal bits at a time, and really making things harder than they need to be. It's like sculpting a statue, you keep chipping away the little bits, when it's much less work, but much more risky, to chip off a huge chunk all at once. And now I'm afraid I'm wasting my creative energy here instead of where it needs to be focused. But I can't ignore my adoring public, now can I?
Recently I feel the "pulling-in-all-directions" feeling that I've felt in recent years. I think moreso now that I know literally twice the people I knew seven months ago. The people and what I do here are priority number one. So, sorry back-homers, if you have to wait a bit for me. Or if I ignore you for a bit, not because I hate you, but because I'm taking care of business elsewhere. So cut me a bit of fucking slack here, because I'm doing all I can. And those fuckers either above below or to either side of me are listening to that fucking pulsing music again that keeps me up all night. I know it's a Friday, but holy hell, I want to sleep.
This is coming in the middle of a hectic school storm. I have a presentation in just about every class, need to write a short film script, and most of all a monologue. A monologue that shows the true heart of me. You see, I'm a private person. I don't like to think about myself that way, but I am. That's why it's hard for me to write these. I just don't think I can truly, in every sense of the word express my feelings here. Fear of judgment, I suppose, but just think to yourself, when was the last time your told someone how your truly feel about something (hint: it's probably the thing you least want to tell them.) I just can't bear myself like that. But, that's what acting is. Exposing your true heart for the world to see. Isn't that what you want to see in someone if you go to a performance?
I wrote a monologue already, but it wasn't good enough. I don't know, maybe if I just say what I want to right off the bat, I wouldn't have to reveal bits at a time, and really making things harder than they need to be. It's like sculpting a statue, you keep chipping away the little bits, when it's much less work, but much more risky, to chip off a huge chunk all at once. And now I'm afraid I'm wasting my creative energy here instead of where it needs to be focused. But I can't ignore my adoring public, now can I?
Recently I feel the "pulling-in-all-directions" feeling that I've felt in recent years. I think moreso now that I know literally twice the people I knew seven months ago. The people and what I do here are priority number one. So, sorry back-homers, if you have to wait a bit for me. Or if I ignore you for a bit, not because I hate you, but because I'm taking care of business elsewhere. So cut me a bit of fucking slack here, because I'm doing all I can. And those fuckers either above below or to either side of me are listening to that fucking pulsing music again that keeps me up all night. I know it's a Friday, but holy hell, I want to sleep.
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