"STOP RUNNING INTO MY DAUGHTER!"

I had my first voice audish today. When I talked to my agent before he signed me, he told me his agency was one of the biggest (I think he said THE biggest, but I need to check my facts on that) voice agencies in the city. This intrigued me, as voice-acting was something I've been interested in since before coming to school. It just seems so fun to provide these voices for various cartoon characters, to get to play and act without having to worry about how you look on camera (not that I ever do.)

Trevor Devall, Our voice-acting teacher at VFS has a philosophy that either you "got it" or you don't, and he can tell who does or doesn't instantly. Out of the hundreds of students he has taught, the amount that "had it" could be counted on one hand. I think everyone in the class was secretly hoping to step into the booth, utter one word and have Trevor get up from off the floor and exclaim "You got it, daddio!" I even had other classmates say I “had it”, and to this Trevor just silently nodded, not in approval, but in a polite way of saying "they're wrong, but I'm not going to call you out in front of everyone." I can't say I agree with his philosophy. I'm one to think that people start-out with various talents, but can be taught anything. Even bad singers can be taught to be good singers if they work at it. They may not end-up being as good as the person who works hard and is gifted naturally, but these less-fortunate people can take pride in the fact that they've accomplished something which others doubted they could do. I hope to work with Trevor on a job someday, to prove that I could make it without "having it" in his eyes. Don't get me wrong, I'm not bashing or disrespecting the guy, I actually admire him a great deal (heck, his "Voice-print” Podcasts are brilliant -- more on that later.)

This one wasn't for a cartoon, but for a radio commercial. Some actors frown upon commercials as not being artistic, or "selling-out", but in truth, most commercials these days tell a story that has little to do with the products they endorse. They're funny, eye-catching, and attention-grabbing. Sure they get annoying when you see the same crappy ones over and over again, but look at the hype surrounding the Superbowl ads (my roommate works at a pub that showed the game, and people would specifically ask if they were showing the "American commercials" to enhance their pigskin-viewing experience) and see that sometimes commercials are as entertaining as the shows for which they provide the funding. And plus, what's selling-out more, shilling some deodorant on a 30-second spot, or working eight hours for the man behind a security desk, or some other menial job most actors are required to perform just to pay the bills?

This was at a place called "Wave Productions", a name I recognized as a pretty major recording studio. I guess I under-estimated just how major it is. When I arrived (a half-hour early, natch) I spotted an actor that I recognized from being an extra in a movie he starred in -- the movie was nothing major, and the extras were rewarded with free drinks at a bar a few nights later as payment. After seeing this guy, a former teacher of mine at VFS went in. I said "hey Kurt", and he said "hi," but I don't think he remembered me.

Sitting around reading over the sides (they weren't provided in advance, you just see 'em when you get there -- cold-reading skills are a plus here) some guy with a cowboy hat, long hair, sideburns, earrings and a nose ring and one of those western-style jackets with the tassels sauntered through the waiting room like he owned the place. Keeping in mind that I was in a voice-acting recording studio, I recognized Scott McNeil, who has acted in about 175 shows, immediately based on his voice, but also his distinct style. He made a comment about me and the other guy waiting wearing Canucks green, and how nobody told him it was "wear green day", but he had a green band in his undies, so it was all good (we just took his word for it.) Soon after, a short bearded man arrived and he and McNeil started bantering, like old buddies who have been at this studio way too many times. I heard someone call him Sam, and I realized Sam Vincent was on the waiting room couch with me, auditioning for the same thing I was (McNeil wasn't auditioning for this, he was recording for another commercial, the ones that play before the movie at the theatre that everybody hates. McNeil knew this, and did his best impression of possible audience reactions.)

The reason these two guys were a big deal to me wasn't because I was a big fan of their work. They've done a tonne of cartoons and anime, but I doubt I've ever watched one thing they were on, and between the two of them they've done well over 200 different shows, and countless episodes therein. I was more in awe because of the previously mentioned Podcasts that my former VFS VO guy Devall produces. Check out his website here: http://www.trevordevall.com to listen to them, or subscribe via iTunes. I believe Vincent's is the first in the series, and McNeil's is just something to behold, a massive and hilarious hour-and-a-half of two voice pros doing what they do best. The Podcasts confirm to me why I want to do voice-acting. These guys and gals love their jobs and the fact that they get to play all day and get paid for it. But first, I gotta so this Solo Mobile ad.

This was a radio ad for Toronto (more on that city in a bit), and a mildly funny one to boot. It had a unique gimmick where the first thirty seconds gets cut-off by another radio ad, and comes back immediately after as if I'd been talking all throughout the ad that played over me, only to have me trail-off at end again. One thing I took from today’s experience is thank God for voice-acting class. Devall says the voice-acting itself can't be taught, but what he did teach us about protocol in the booth was indispensable: don't touch the mike, let the tech do it, use the cans (headphones, which Devall didn't think to use for his first ever voice audition and therefore was not able to hear the director), take all janglies (i.e.: keys) out of your pockets, and also, the microphone is ALWAYS ON.

I met the director, Colin, before I entered the room. Once I was inside, he gave me a quick breakdown of what was happening: This wasn't an "announcer" per se, not someone telling people what to buy. This was more conversational, like I was some street-wise guy, maybe a former 'boarder who broke his leg or something (his words) and was telling a buddy about this killer deal. Then he asked for a "slate and a date" and after rattling-off “February 14th … 2008” awkwardly, off I went.

Even though I read-over the sides numerous times in the waiting room (distracted by McNeil and a tech watching "Salad Fingers" in the other room), the first time I said the words full-force was in that booth. Some of it came out muddled, like it was my first day with my new tongue, but any actor will tell you how hard it is to do the simplest things when you're being recorded. It's quite sad really, and any non-actor would laugh at us for complaining about it, but it's true. Aye-freaking carumba, it's damn true. So I did the first half, and the director said good, but do it again with the energy I picked-up midway through. I did that a few times, then went on to the "back half."

Silence.

"Uh, the back half?"
"Oh!"

I didn't quite catch him the first time, and I didn't want to say "Wha?" and sound like an idiot. Instead, I ended-up sounding like a guy who just didn't listen to direction. Really, it was like the "Jennifer's Body" audition, a one or two second slip-up, but probably the thing that will ring loudest when I recall this. It's only a mistake if you don't learn from it. So I did the back half one or two times, and Colin said "good job", and I left the booth. As I was packing-up he said good job again, and thanked me, which redeemed any possible ill-impressions that I thought I made. I'm just too hard on myself, most of these mistakes are so minor, but I am working with people whose job is in the details, so I'm sure they don’t do unnoticed. But no human is flawless, and they accept the mistakes as they come. There's always take two, so no take is truly "mis'd." Hah, I kill me.

I forgot to mention that I saw my agent's daughter again before the audition. I was in the waiting room, and she didn't recognize me because I was wearing my glasses and a hat (big plus with doing voice stuff.) Once I said “annyong” to get her attention, she recalled our first encounter with a colleague there with striking accuracy. When I called my agent to report-in he did his trade-mark no-hello with a "STOP RUNNING INTO MY DAUGHTER!" Now, to anyone else, this would be terrifying; my agent, my ticket to my dreams has demanded of me to leave his precious baby alone. But when you look at the true scope of things, how his daughter owns the agency and has the big clients (including McNeil) and how he's really just a new guy at this agent-thing comparatively speaking, then you can understand the situation better. Oh, and he was totally joking too, obviously. He said he plays tennis with the Wave Studios people on Fridays, and has a good working relationship with them. He said he was just teasing me with this, but voice-acting is important to Vancouver actors, so he'll get me in for more in the future. I look forward to that.

When I got home, a guy I acted with in High School (West Side Story, I was a Shark, he was Jet, can I make it anymore obvious?) sent me this video: http://www.greekchorus.com/game/video/PTG105-Faces.mov. I said earlier that I’d mention Toronto, and that’s where this was made, and where he’s scracthin’ and survivin’ (he’s the guy it the pink shirt, and he’s actually more toned-down in this video compared to how he is in real life.) I’ll give him the shout-out here, and I hope for nothing but big things for him. Toronto and Vancouver are pretty neck-and-neck when it comes to Hollywood North supremacy, and I feel a bit of a rivalry existing between the two. Whatever, I’ve said before that I don’t see Toronto as a “livable” city for me, and Vancouver just rocks way too hard. Don’t get me started on NHL teams, though …

I hardly slept all day, maybe got an hour or so, I couldn’t tell. I could shut the light out, and the place was actually pretty quiet, but I just couldn’t turn my mind off. Something about sleeping on an audition day is just so tough for me, as I replay all the incredible stuff that happened in my head, and look forward to what tomorrow may bring. Also, the possible call regarding “I Love You Beth Cooper” still weighs heavily on my mind. It may have been given to one of the other guys already, I don’t know, but there’s still the possibility that they’re waiting to call for some reason. I just got the impression that they’d give feedback to my agent anyway, regardless of whether I booked the part or not.

I had to be up by seven at the latest, to get to the gym and then get to work on time. So with a little help from Xyience pounding my taste buds, and Metallica’s “Ride The Lightning” pounding my ear drums, I was able to get a good gym sesh in without dropping a weight on my head and killing myself. That’s all I care about really, because my job requires very little output; heck I’m writing this at work.

Someone suggested taking some Gravol to help me sleep, which I hissed at, saying after what happened to Heath Ledger, I’d never use anything to help me sleep, no matter how mild. I just figured I’d rely on the caffeine instead, which I know isn’t any better, but combining the uppers and downers are what does the most damage to people; the books I’ve read about wrestlers washing down pain pills with coffee illustrate the problems loud and clear. It’s the exhaustion combined with the adrenalin. I’m very tired, but still very stimulated from the audition, the nerves in the room, the possibility of booking, and everything else involved make it hard for me to come down in time to get some proper rest before work or the gym. But hey’ I said give it to me, and I ain’t about to take that back. In fact, I say give it to me more; more auditions, more possibilities to book, and more bookings will mean I can kiss the sleep-depriving night jobs goodbye, hopefully forever. With the WGA strike finally over, that “more” looks like a serious possibility.

And finally, I want to thank everyone just for reading all 2,470 words of this. I know I don’t get back to all your comments left either here or on Facebook, but I read and appreciate all of them, and am pleasantly surprised as to just who is reading this long-winded, poor-grammar-laden tome of a tadpole hoping to become the frog that makes a big splash in a big pond. That’s a horrible metaphor, but you get the point. I always enjoy writing when I’ve got something interesting to say, and what I’m doing now is something only a small amount of the population gets to do, and I’m so proud and fortunate to be one of those people. These auditions now serve a twofold purpose: there’s the work involved with simply preparing them for the Casting Director to book the part, and then getting to share any possible interesting tidbits with all of you. Heck, even if I book nothing for a long, long time, just the joy of recalling these experiences is reward in and of itself.

But I hope I book something someday. Oh man, I'll totally wig-out if I don't.